SHAKIN’ MUTANTS FROM 1994!

Long time no vlog, eh? Even if this is the only video I do for the season, I figured this would be a fun one to break into it. From 1994, Shakin’ Mutants were wannabe Boglin toys pretending to be decorations that absolutely stole my heart - obviously I’m excited if I’m breaking out the video format.

Like I said, it’s been a long while since I’ve done a video like this. I wasn’t good at it before, I may be even less good at it now - so if the volume level and quality sucks or you’re just flat out not entertained, I went into this fully willing to take all the steam.

I may and or may not do other short videos like this in the near future depending on what I get time for. I set myself up for like 30 ideas and ended on realistically being able to maybe do 2 of them for the season. Time will tell. 

Anyways, enjoy. If you hate it so do I.

VINTAGE HALLOWEEN ADS

I’ve revised this intro at least 20 times by now and it dawned on me - who needs a clever intro when you’re about talk about illustrious vintage Halloween advertisements carefully plucked from magazines and newspapers? Not me. Not anyone. I found some pretty fun ones - I’m confident they’ll make up for the lack of a charismatic introductory paragraph.

CREST PUMPKIN 1983

Ah, the age old tale of dentist vs Halloween. We’ve all heard the shtick in one form or another whether it be dentists outright hating Halloween or a dentist in some random neighborhood handing out tooth brushes to trick-or-treaters. Even this ad starts off expressing dentists dismay over the holiday. 

The narrative always confused me. Maybe I’m just a glass half full kinda guy but wouldn’t a dentist be thrilled for a time of year when cavities are most prevalent? I’d sooner believe Halloween was designed to keep the drill bits turning and fluoride flowing. 

Regardless, Crest has made a nice simple scene here with a jolly jacko grinning from ear to ear to advertise their Advanced Formula with Flouristat to ensure those Halloween treats don’t come back to haunt your kids teeth. It's a win-win: kids get candy, dentists get business, and Crest gets to be the hero.

BUBBLE YUM

"Show us your bubble!" Bubble Yum proclaimed in 1988, apparently oblivious to how that phrase might tickle our modern funny bones. But, I digress - the ad features a couple of costumed kiddos channeling their inner monsters in pursuit of the era's hottest tech treasures. In simpler terms - LITTLE MONSTERS BLOWING BUBBLEGUM FOR VCRs!

As someone born just a year shy of this bubblegum bonanza, I can only imagine the frenzy. Even my 5-year-old self in '94 would have been chomping at the bit (or gum) for a shot at some sweet, sweet VCR action.

FRANK N’ STUFF

Most of you already know the glory that is Frank N’ Stuff Hotdogs by now - a whacky monster fronted line of hotdogs stuffed with chili or cheese from Hormel. Perhaps it’s news to some that there was at one point a $10k instant winner giveaway promo in 1987.

Here's the kicker: you could win by buying their delightfully stuffed dogs OR by simply sending a letter. That's right, Hormel was basically throwing money at people faster than Frankenstein's monster runs from angry villagers.

Speaking of the big green guy, I love that the ad features him illegally printing cash through some convoluted hotdog recycling scheme.

MARSHMALLOW KRISPIES CEREAL

Before they decided to melt the two together for a cereal of their own in the 90s, we were given Marshmallow Krispies cereal in the early 80s. If you were lucky enough, you would’ve come across this advertisement with a coupon for a whopping 15 cents off your next purchase of the cereal. Inflation, am I right?

I always get a kick out of these recipes for the holiday season. Why eat regular Rice Krispie treats when you can channel your inner Martha Stewart, sculpt a pumpkin, slap on more icing than a birthday cake and eat yourself to diabetic shock?

While I do love the sight of the jack-o’-lanterns which sorta resemble smaller bootleg versions of Dumpy the Pumpkin - there’s something about the ominous glow of the orange text against the shadowy background that feels so unmistakably Halloween.

SPUDS MACKENZIE BUD LIGHT

Universal loves themselves a giveaway opportunity. Whether it’s coupled with root beer or real beer - they wanted to give a select few either money or a trip to their amusement parks on many occasions. Which brings me to Bud Light. 

While a ton of the Halloween ads from Bud Light were fronted by beautiful busty goth women, a few were fronted by our pal, Spuds MacKenzie - a bull terrier mascot who took the late 80s by storm. 

Things I’ve learned about Spuds since writing this article.

1. Spuds is a female

2. Spuds was hated by moms who thought Bud Light was trying to feed their kids beer

3. Spuds was so popular that Bud Light retired her in 89 because the company felt she overshadowed the brand

4. Spuds is amazing in all forms but never better than while she’s pretending to be Dracula

PEANUTS GALLERY GOT MILK

Since 1993, we’ve seen all walks of pop culture featured in the “Got Milk” campaign but it wasn’t until 2011 that the Peanuts gang traded their usual antics for milk mustaches and honored chocolate milk as the official brew of All Hallows’ Eve.

I love the idea that regular milk simply isn’t Halloween-y enough and you should exclusively be drinking chocolate during the haunting season.

Thanks for reading!

RARE HALLOWEEN MCNUGGET BUDDIES!

McDonald's and Halloween - a pairing as iconic as Big Macs and post-meal regret. We've all gushed over their festive pails - the Holy Grail of trick-or-treat receptacles, praised their spooky bags as if they're couture fashion, and analyzed their costumed McNuggets with the fervor of art critics dissecting a Renaissance masterpiece. It’s safe to say each of those Halloween offerings from the golden arches has its own metaphorical plaque in the fast-food hall of fame. Yet, there is one set that remains mostly unheard of.

Just when you thought you'd seen every McNugget, from Count McNugula to Ronald McDonald's long-lost goth cousin, there's a set that's been lurking in the shadows since 1998. While the rest of the world was doing the Macarena, Australia was busy hoarding a secret treasure - the elusive McNugget Ghouls! These guys are so rare, most people have a better chance of spotting Jaws in their bathtub than owning the four specimens in this lineup.

The fearsome foursome includes McGhost (the shy type who's always transparent about his feelings), McFrankie (assembled from leftover parts of other menu items), McWolf (who howls at the golden arches instead of the moon), and McDrac (who sucks the flavor out of your fries instead of your blood). The names may not be as clever as their US counterparts, but what they lack in birth names, they make up for with their ominous, spooky glowing skin. It's like they've been marinated in nuclear waste - a real testament to McDonald's commitment to "all-natural" ingredients.

While we did get a ghost, Frankenstein, and a Dracula variant here in the States, these Aussie aberrations are completely different sculpts. Then there's the addition of McWolf, a red/orange-haired lupine McNugget who absolutely needed to be carrying two dog bones to get the point of his costume across.

It feels good to have finally completed the Halloween McNugget sets - a quest that's been years in the making and has cost me way more than a few Big Mac meals. I've heard rumors of these legendary glow in the dark Halloween McNuggets for ages and only assumed them to be urban legends, like the mythical McPizza or the fabled always-working ice cream machine. But I finally took the plunge and snagged a few on eBay, proving that with enough determination, even the most elusive McNuggets can be caught.

LINGERING THOUGHTS

1. How does McDrac like his coffee? Weird question…. but De-coffin-ated.

2. How many Happy Meals could I have bought instead of these toys? I plead the 5th.
   

3. Why doesn’t the ice cream machine ever work? I don’t know… I only go there for Halloween stuff.

Thanks for reading!

THE LEFTOVER PIZZA 2024 HALLOWEEN SCARE PACKAGE

UPDATE: BOXES ARE SOLD OUT!!! HIT THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE FOR THE WAX MELT BUNDLES WHILE SUPPLIES LASTS!!! Attention mortal souls! The 2024 Leftover Pizza Halloween Scare Package is available now! We have a lot of heavy hitting items in this one so if you want one, act fast - these are extremely limited and ready to ship! Once they’re gone they are gone for good!

Starting things off with this years wax melt - YARD HAUNT HANGS. Dare to melt the essence of All Hallows Eve? Transport yourself to a chilly October evening, crunch through fallen leaves and cedar boughs with an earthy whisper of patchouli rising from forgotten graves. Wisps of smoked oud curl around you like ghostly fingers, while the enigmatic essence of autumn glow dances just out of sight. Ancient spices waft from a witch's cauldron, mingling with the sweet temptation of freshly baked pumpkin treats. From the wax blend to the labels, every element is crafted by yours truly. 

Moving on, each box will contain 2 goodie bags. The first bag will be packed with a small bunch of candy. Then in the other you will find: 

• 2 packs of card by Fleer - one featuring Casper and the other featuring Real Monsters!

• 1 Leftover Pizza Podcast button

• 1 Leftover Pizza Bat sticker

• 1 complete Boo! Book

Also included, each box will contain one of four random Ghostbusters key chains with the chance of Slimer, Muncher, Stay Puft or a Terror Dog! This was a fun little last minute find. Though they are relatively new, I couldn’t pass them up!

Ok guys, I told yas there were some heavy hitters in this one - I meant it! Starting off with a light fun one - each box will contain ALL THREE of these super swank Bud Light Halloween masks along with a pop up table top ad! These things are super cool - hardly wearable but look great in a a frame!

Next up, you’ll each get 2 (1 of each design*) Orville Redenbacher Trick-or-Treat bags! If you’ve been following along, I wrote a little about both of these bags in the Halloween bag series and they are hands down among some of the best bags the 80s had to offer. I made sure to grab the best in the bunch for yous. Keep in mind, these things are super old and not competely perfect.

Then, yous will all receive one sealed Monster in my Pocket blind bag from 1992! I managed to grab these hella early in June and I’ve been so stoked for the reveal this entire time! Each blind bag comes with a mini figure and a character card. 

Finally, ending on perhaps the biggest get - each box will contain 1 sealed Simpsons Spooky Light Up from this lineup in 2001! As with all the contents, as they are boxed and picked at random, I have no control over which character you will get but rest assured - if you haven’t seen these before  each one is an absolute banger!

That is the 2024 Halloween Scare Package! UPDATE: BOXES ARE SOLD OUT! Thanks to everyone who grabbed one! If you’d like to buy the wax melt bundle for $15 shipped (which will come with the two Orville trick-or-treat bags, a pack of Ahh! Real Monsters cards, a pin and a sticker) hit the paypal button bellow while supplies lasts!

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Thanks for purchasing! Here I am modeling the Frankenstein Bud Light mask.

WHY DOESN’T MONSTER CEREAL ICE CREAM EXIST?

Halloween season is in full swing, and boy what a banner year it’s been so far! From FrankenCakes to Ghost Toast Kit-Kats, we certainly have plenty of new spooky junk food to gorge ourselves on…right? Wrong.

Forgive me if this comes off a little James Rolfe-y, but, you know what’s bullshit? The fact that we’ve got all these damn monster cereals, but General Mills refuses to go all the way with the crossover products. Sure, they’ve given us Fruit Roll-Ups. Fine. Franken & Boo-Berry Glo-Gurt? Big whoop. What I really want is to see the big G swing for the fences. I think it’s high time they gave us Monster Cereal Ice Cream! (And before you come for me in the comments, I’m talking real ice cream, not those NutraSweet Count Chocula pops from 1980-something.)

Problem is, I don’t see that happening any time soon. It’s a real head-scratcher too because putting that sweet, iced-cream in everyone’s local grocery freezer section just seems like owning a license to print money.

Wait a minute. I like money. This gives me an idea…

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Frute Brute ice cream! An officially unofficial, Monster Cereal based, frozen dairy dessert. Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it everything you’ve always wanted? Of course it is.

Now you may be asking yourself, how did this guy make a Frute Brute ice cream in 2024? That’s the fun part, I didn’t! Through the magic of repurposing content, what you’re viewing today is actually a window into our not-so-distant past of June 2023. I know that timeline may also not add-up for you, so I’ll cut right to the chase - I bought way too much Frute Brute during the Halloween season of 2022 out of sheer excitement, totally disregarding the fact that I’d never be able to eat that much cereal. Cut to eight months later: I’m deep in the throes of my Ninja Creami obsession, overflowing with nearly-stale human kibble, and needing content for a now defunct Patreon page.

* light bulb *

So, I set out on a quest to make what the cereal gods haven’t - a grocery store quality, Halloween themed ice cream. Fun part? If you have a Creami or other similar home ice cream machine, you can make it too! No gatekeeping here. Follow this recipe:

-1.5 cups milk*

-1/4 cup sweetener of your choice (I used monk-fruit)

-1/4 tsp xanthan gum

-cap-full of Vanilla extract (probably 1/2 tsp.)

*The key to this recipe was filling my ice cream pint up to the fill line with cereal, pouring in my milk and letting those two sit in the fridge for an hour or so. This ensures that all the flavor & color gets imparted into the milk, then the soggy cereal gets strained out and tossed.

After all that, I let the ice cream base sit in the freezer for 24 hours and then ran it through the machine the following night. For Ninja Creami owners, run it on the lite ice cream setting (maybe twice)!

One final pass through on the mix-in function after adding in a handful of fresh cereal pieces and you’re in business.

Damn dawg, look at that texture. If I were more business savvy I could be selling these things for $5.50 a pop at a drive-thru. The only problem I foresee is sourcing more of the ever-elusive Frute Brute cereal. But I suppose that’s the beauty of this recipe, you can use any of the monster cereal flavors. Hell, you could use any cereal you like, period!

So, the next time someone tells you it’s too cold out for ice cream, pull out your phone and show them this article. They’ll probably laugh at you, but what do they know anyway?

FRUTE BRUTE FOREVER.

SO, MY FOLKS WERE UP IN THE ATTIC THE OTHER DAY….

You've heard those urban legends about lucky folks stumbling upon hidden treasures in their homes, right? Welp, I have officially joined that exclusive club of accidental Indiana Joneses!

For seven long years, I've been living in my cozy abode, blissfully ignoring the mysterious realm above my head - aka the attic - aka the mythical land of forgotten junk and potential serial killer lair. Fate recently made other plans.

It all started with some innocent kitchen renovations. Little did I know that updating my culinary corner would lead to a full-blown "Night at the Museum" situation. Enter my girlfriend and her father - the dynamic duo of curiosity and terrible timing. On a random Thursday night, while I'm trying to be all professional and podcast-y, in classic girlfriend and father fashion, these two decide it's the perfect moment for an attic expedition at 9pm.

So there I am, headphones on, trying to sound intelligent, when suddenly - THUMP THUMP THUMP - the ceiling starts shaking like we're in "Jumanji." Before I know it, I'm being summoned to witness the grand unveiling of our attic's secrets.

And boy, oh boy, what secrets they were! Nestled between a Barbie Dream House (slightly haunted, I suspect) and enough vintage National Geographics to wallpaper the Taj Mahal, we struck a motherload of Halloween goodies!

Imagine my shock when I realized we'd unearthed vintage die-cut decor and trick-or-treat bags (bags not pictured - saving them for later) - some of which I'd been lusting after on eBay to share this season. The attic gods heard my spooky prayers and decided to deliver - for free! Oh, and I can’t forget the sweet glow in the dark witch poster!

But wait, there's more! We also discovered the previous owner's high school diplomas. And the pièce de résistance - a collection of grade school Halloween crafts! Believe me when I say I absolutely wept with joy!

Now, being the upstanding citizen that I am (ha!), I'm returning the diplomas to their rightful owners. But those delightfully creepy kiddie crafts? Oh, they're staying put. Call me weird, call me eccentric, but those paper ghosts have found their forever home.

So, the next time you're pondering whether to explore that dusty corner of your house, remember my tale. You never know - you might just find your own personal jackpot.

Thanks so much for reading!

VINTAGE HALLOWEEN TRICK-OR-TREAT BAGS PT. 1

Emblazoned with grinning pumpkins, cartoonish witches, and not-so-scary ghosts; If you grew up trick-or-treating during the 80’s and 90’s, chances are you toted one of these flimsy plastic Halloween promotional bags from your local grocery store, fast food joint, or department store.

Originally destined for a one-night stand with confectionery glory, who knew 40 years later we'd be waxing so poetically over spooky orange and yellow plastic bags? They’re more than just that, they’re little snapshots of an era of Halloween I sometimes feel no longer exists. From General Mills to Dominos, join me for a dive into a collection of vintage trick-or-treat bags and explore beloved designs that defined Halloween for multiple generations of kids. Together we will unpack some fantastic plastic memories in non-biodegradable materials!

CEREAL MONSTERS

Thanks to the Flickr collection of Gregg Koenig, we know these are possibly from the 70s. Do I know what year with 100% certainty? Absolutely not. But let's pretend we're cereal archaeologists and roll with it. What I do know is that these were obtained with two proofs of purchase of any Monster Cereal. This was back when cereal companies would offer little incentives for purchasing sugar coated cardboard. 

One may have a hard time believing this beautiful bag is 50+ years old as it managed to maintain looking brand new like it’s hot off the press! The art is goofy and fun and double sided at that! If the simple montage of the trio with their jack-o’-lantern (which I’m assuming the Count carved, he’s extra proud here) wasn’t enough, the back sports and alternate art with the trio being chased by some dick head kid. They could’ve easily used the same image for both sides but went the extra mile!

DOMINOS PIZZA

Ladies, gentlemen, and creatures of the night, meet the unholy offspring of The Noid and Dracula - Noid-ula! I’m assuming this Domino’s Pizza bag was produced in the late 80s to mid 90s as that was around the time the Noid was being used as Dominos marketing mascot. 

The bag, which I found last year scouring the depths of my eBay watchlist at 3 AM, sports a strikingly mesmerizing color palette. It’s like a Lisa Frank folder had a baby with a Halloween rave. The more you look, the more you see the finer details. It’s been an entire year and I only just noticed the little yellow and purple monsters near the bottom of Noids casket playing hide and seek with my sanity.

“Keep your fangs out of my candy!” feels like such a Bart Simpson-esque threat and honestly makes complete sense. This bag has enough attitude to warrant detention every day after school. Eat my shorts.

CASPER

Here we see the Harvey Cartoons/Comics version of Casper. It’s hard to say exactly when this bag was produced as there isn’t a plethora of information about it online. I’ve gathered it’s slightly rare. I’ve only ever seen it once on eBay and there are half a dozen Reddit posts each desperately seeking any leads to it. This one was oddly enough part of the random collection residing in the attic of my house that we found earlier in the beginning of August. 

In case you didn’t know, the three ghosts with the Dairy Queen curl at their heads are Casper’s uncles - Fatso, Lazo and Fusso. This was before his uncles got their 1995 movie makeover. The little one with the freckles is Caspers cousin, Spooky. With the addition of Spooky, this bag has to be at least older than 1955 since that’s when he was conceived.

It’s in slightly rough shape with some color loss but its age hasn’t diminished its charm. Look at Caspers little ghost feet - if that doesn't make you say "aww," check your pulse, you might be dead.

ORVILLE REDENBACHER #1

Move over, Act II - Orville's throwing a monster mash, and everyone's invited! This is one of the two Orville bags that I’ll eventually get to in a second or theirs part. 

One of the most artful of the lots here, I could get lost in this bag all day - and I don’t just mean sticking my head in it and almost suffocating. I’ll be doing that too but for real, what a beautiful color scheme! This 1981 masterpiece is what happens when Tales from the Crypt meets your microwave.

It's a regular "Who's Who" of Universal Monsters. Frankenstein's monster, Dracula, the Wolf Man - gang's all here! It's like Comic-Con for the undead, but with more butter and less body odor.

SUPER SAFETY #1

This one I assume was obtained at a local grocery store. It seems like anyone in any town or city could have these produced and customized as they felt fit as I’ve seen this exact design marketing other products depending on what store and where you might live. 

As far as I can tell, in terms of advertising, this is the most extravagant one of the bunch by far! It's got more products than a late-night shopping channel. For a grand total of 8 different items - this bag is in every sense of the word a walking billboard! Triaminic cold medicine, Kachoos childrens facial tissues, Karo corn syrup, Minute Maid, Handi-Snacks, Spaghetti-Os! No rhyme, reason or pattern. Whatever the fuck they wanted on this bag was going on it! 

The real prize? The main front and back images - especially the vampire showcasing his cape embellished in Halloween safety rules. Nothing says “be careful” like taking advice from a blood sucking fiend!

LINGERING THOUGHTS/CONCLUSION

1. Why is the Noid in a coffin? Too many pizzas delivered on time.
   

2. Why do these bags have so many ads? It's Halloween. Even capitalism likes to dress up.

3. What's with Casper's ghost feet? They’re adorable.

Thank you for joining me to get misty-eyed over glorified plastic garbage bags from a time lost but not forgotten - they live on in our hearts, attics, and probably some landfills.