WHY DOESN’T MONSTER CEREAL ICE CREAM EXIST?
Halloween season is in full swing, and boy what a banner year it’s been so far! From FrankenCakes to Ghost Toast Kit-Kats, we certainly have plenty of new spooky junk food to gorge ourselves on…right? Wrong.
Forgive me if this comes off a little James Rolfe-y, but, you know what’s bullshit? The fact that we’ve got all these damn monster cereals, but General Mills refuses to go all the way with the crossover products. Sure, they’ve given us Fruit Roll-Ups. Fine. Franken & Boo-Berry Glo-Gurt? Big whoop. What I really want is to see the big G swing for the fences. I think it’s high time they gave us Monster Cereal Ice Cream! (And before you come for me in the comments, I’m talking real ice cream, not those NutraSweet Count Chocula pops from 1980-something.)
Problem is, I don’t see that happening any time soon. It’s a real head-scratcher too because putting that sweet, iced-cream in everyone’s local grocery freezer section just seems like owning a license to print money.
Wait a minute. I like money. This gives me an idea…
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Frute Brute ice cream! An officially unofficial, Monster Cereal based, frozen dairy dessert. Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it everything you’ve always wanted? Of course it is.
Now you may be asking yourself, how did this guy make a Frute Brute ice cream in 2024? That’s the fun part, I didn’t! Through the magic of repurposing content, what you’re viewing today is actually a window into our not-so-distant past of June 2023. I know that timeline may also not add-up for you, so I’ll cut right to the chase - I bought way too much Frute Brute during the Halloween season of 2022 out of sheer excitement, totally disregarding the fact that I’d never be able to eat that much cereal. Cut to eight months later: I’m deep in the throes of my Ninja Creami obsession, overflowing with nearly-stale human kibble, and needing content for a now defunct Patreon page.
* light bulb *
So, I set out on a quest to make what the cereal gods haven’t - a grocery store quality, Halloween themed ice cream. Fun part? If you have a Creami or other similar home ice cream machine, you can make it too! No gatekeeping here. Follow this recipe:
-1.5 cups milk*
-1/4 cup sweetener of your choice (I used monk-fruit)
-1/4 tsp xanthan gum
-cap-full of Vanilla extract (probably 1/2 tsp.)
*The key to this recipe was filling my ice cream pint up to the fill line with cereal, pouring in my milk and letting those two sit in the fridge for an hour or so. This ensures that all the flavor & color gets imparted into the milk, then the soggy cereal gets strained out and tossed.
After all that, I let the ice cream base sit in the freezer for 24 hours and then ran it through the machine the following night. For Ninja Creami owners, run it on the lite ice cream setting (maybe twice)!
One final pass through on the mix-in function after adding in a handful of fresh cereal pieces and you’re in business.
Damn dawg, look at that texture. If I were more business savvy I could be selling these things for $5.50 a pop at a drive-thru. The only problem I foresee is sourcing more of the ever-elusive Frute Brute cereal. But I suppose that’s the beauty of this recipe, you can use any of the monster cereal flavors. Hell, you could use any cereal you like, period!
So, the next time someone tells you it’s too cold out for ice cream, pull out your phone and show them this article. They’ll probably laugh at you, but what do they know anyway?
FRUTE BRUTE FOREVER.