VINTAGE KOOL-AID PART 1
Consider this my ode to the good old days when hydration meant sugar-shock and artificial colors that would make a rainbow jealous. A time when our biggest worry was whether we'd end up with a purple mustache or a blue tongue. I'm talking about the nectar of the gods: Kool-Aid!
To me, making Kool-Aid wasn't just mixing a drink; it was a sacred ritual that rivaled ancient alchemy. Those little packets were like vials of powdered magical elixirs for your taste buds. And the main ingredient? A mountain of sugar so vast, it needed its own zip code.
And sure, Kool-Aid was an all-season MVP in most households, but what time better to talk about Kool-Aid than summertime? On the hottest days, that icy cup of sugar water hit harder than puberty. Just to add to it, back in the day, the Kool-Aid Man wasn't only bursting through walls—he was bursting with hand-drawn charm, flanked by a menagerie of critters that looked like they stumbled out of a groovy acid trip. It was art, I tell you! Art you could drink! So, today, let’s take a trip into the technicolor world of Kool-Aid packets!
PURPLESAURUS REX
Move over, Barney! This grape-lemonade lovechild stomped onto the scene in 1989, proving dinosaurs aren't extinct - they're just hiding in your drink mix. Legend has it, you can channel your inner flavor necromancer and resurrect this discontinued delight by mixing grape and lemonade Kool-Aid.
Fun fact, Purplesaurus Rex Kool Aid comes from grape and lemon filled volcanoes - a prehistoric eruption of flavor!
SHARKLEBERRY FIN
Another fun debut in 1989, Sharkleberry Fin - Imagine Jaws with a juice sponsorship, sporting oversized novelty Dollar Tree glasses. Oh, and he’s pink!
Sharkleberry is the only mascot that survived the flavor extinction after the resurgence in 2014 and still swims in packet and bulk powder form today. He may have lost his pink skin and sunglasses, but his Kool Aid still tastes like a pool party in a cup!
ROCK-A-DILE RED
As far as I can tell, 1991 seems like the year our red friend Rock-a-dile debuted, some Kool Aid purist is out there angry at all of these dates I’m sure. Listen, I’m not perfect and I’ll take no offense at being stood corrected.
A mixed berry punch comprised of cherries, grapes and strawberries that brought new meaning to 'see you later, alligator.' Plus, Rock-a-dile is an anthropomorphic croc setting him apart from the whole crew of mascots. Part gator, part rock star, all attitude. He also plays the sax - yes, it matters!
GREAT BLUEDINI
Next, we’re off to 1992 with the Introduction of the octopus magician, Great Bluedini! Perhaps the most wild of the bunch; this eight-armed illusionist swam onto the scene, turning green powder into blue liquid faster than you can say 'abra kadabra.' But the real magic trick? It tastes like fruit punch! I’m almost surprised by the flavor but then again, it’s an octopus magician… things were bound to get weird.
PINK SWIMMINGO
And finally, my personal favorite of the bunch, PINK SWIMMINGO! Introduced in 1993, the Kool-Aid Man and a flamingo life guard teamed up for a watermelon cherry lemonade so beautiful it made angels cry sweet pink tears of joy and trade their harps for pool noodles.
There are few things I love more than flamingos in summertime - when you slap beachy lifeguard gear on them and throw them on a delicious flavor of Kool Aid - you’re speaking the only language I choose to understand. If summer had an official color and flavor, it would be this fabulous flamingo in a glass!
LINGERING THOUGHTS/CONCLUSION
Is Pink Swimmingo the reason flamingos are pink? That’s the story as I know it and I won’t be told otherwise.
What happened to all the leftover Purplesaurus Rex when it was discontinued? It fossilized into grape-flavored geodes, now sold at overpriced gift shops near you!
Could Great Bluedini predict the future of discontinued flavors? Only if you shook the pitcher three times and asked very nicely.
From prehistoric purple pals to saxophonist swamp dwellers, one thing's for sure: these wild Kool-Aid flavors were the real MVPs of our childhood. They may be gone, but they're certainly not forgotten! Thanks for reading!